The Solitary World of Social Technology

How many times have you been in a large crowd of people and turned to your smart phone as a refuge from a real life social experience? Perhaps it’s because I’m eternally introverted that I’ve noticed my natural tendency to look inward for an escape route from forced interaction has started creeping up in every person with a smart phone. As new media is created for us to enjoy a “social” experience (whatever the latest app or website happens to be for that day), we are becoming more isolated from reality and relationships than ever before.

I’m not totally against online social experiences; I’m actually an active participant. They’ve brought my long distance social circle closer to me and my introverted self is able to network with individuals I never imagined I’d interface with. For that reason, the technologies created to minimize distances, share life experiences and develop new relationships have been a blessing to my life. At the same time there’s always a sense that I am more alone and introverted than ever before. I feel cursed by the solitude. I’m always alone mentally and sometimes physically when I’m stalking my feeds. Taking one’s self out of a real-life moment and diving into the online world of “building” relationships is a solitary act.

I know you’ve done this too. You sit in the same room with a family member or friend and one or both of you is on your smart phone checking out the latest posts on Facebook. Instead of creating memorable moments, you are ironically enveloped in the post worthy moment of someone else's life, memorable or not. And if it happens to be the latter, you’ve probably internally berated them for posting some minuscule detail of their life that you never wanted to know. 

Every person with a technology driven life has at one point been so engrossed in a social application that they’ve been “checked out” of reality, letting life pass them by. Technology brings us closer together when long distance separates us, but when our physical separation is minimal I firmly believe that technology and social apps drive more space between us.

My case in multiple points: Work, Play & Food.

Work - Having an entire conversation via emails with a person in your office, both of you isolated in separate spaces with headphones drowning out the sounds of real life verbal conversation.

Play - Playing “Words with Friends” with your spouse while sitting in the same room together.  Without speaking, you finish an entire game while your high end Scrabble board game is tucked away in the cabinet beside you.

Food - My personal favorite; snapping a picture of a meal you are enjoying with friends and immediately posting to a social profile to document the amazing time you are sharing and…squirrel…another friend just posted a picture of a squirrel on their feed! Not important, not even interesting really but a quick open of Pandora’s Box and you’ve learned about new babies, bad karma and why do all my friend’s suddenly love giraffes so much? You’ve forgotten about the real-life experience you were supposed to be living just moments ago and you’ve now isolated yourself further away from the living breathing person sitting just a mere three feet away.

For all of these activities, technology has provided us amazing benefits to better our lives and fulfill our social nature as human beings. Let’s not allow these new tools, created to bring us together, to drive us further apart.

Dog likes Car

This sure as hell beats the Camry "Grounded to the Ground" Commercial. Kudos Vdub... I think Bert would do this on purpose.

Life Won't Let You Down

Suite 709: My latest obsession.

I'd like to introduce you to Suite 709. You can thank me later when this song is stuck in your head. Thank you Austin, Texas for this band and this song.

If you're feeling down this song will for sure, pick you up.

Just read the lyrics:

Well, you can get up,
When you're on the ground
Open for faith to turn it all around,
When things fall apart, the world will still turn
Stars fall, bridges burn, pick pick pick it up
You live. You learn.
Hope Life Wont Let You Down.
Hope Life Wont Let You Down.
No Life Wont Let You Down.
No Life Wont Let You Down.

If you can, you must.

Its been a long time out since my last post. Life has changed, I’ve changed, my daily routine has drastically changed. I am different.

Somehow putting your words out there feels more real than having a conversation. Your words are your reality and when they are typed up in an online forum then it feels more real and more permanent. You put your words out there for history to swallow up and spit back out in a feed, making an indelible mark on your life’s path. You can’t erase your words, you can’t erase the memories that your online words influence or generate. Your words become your history, your story, part of you.

Admittedly I have slacked off on writing and self reflection in general. The past six months have been a mental struggle. By choosing not to share my words in my blog, by taking a hiatus from writing down my thoughts I removed any possibility that my negative emotions and thoughts would become my reality. If you don’t say it, it can’t become real...right? Or by not saying anything I just drowned in my own solidarity and had no outlet to be me.

Unemployment is not fun-employment. Not having a job, not having any means to support my family is NOT for me. I struggled to be myself and be happy. To me happiness is contributing to the greater good of my family and feeling like I’ve made a difference. There was only so much yard work and home maintenance that I could take care of over the past six months to feel like I made a contribution. Happiness is Success. I suppose while my manicured front lawn was earning compliments I was a true success.  But where I’ve truly been for the past six months was in a writer’s block hole (pun intended) no where near my happiness.

I even let someone else steal my yoga from me. If you know me you know who. The block hole I was in also kept me out of the hot room with my eyes closed and barely breathing. The hardest part is admitting to the fact that I let that person take away my happiness without a fight. I avoided the hot room for fear of an awkward moment, for fear of the inevitable discomfort of being locked in the hot room for an hour and a half trying to focus on not thinking. The fear kept me away and I feel sad about that.

Funny enough, the topic of this post; if you can, you must - came out of the hot room during that time I was ridden with inexplicable fear. During wind removing pose I received the best piece of advice for life in general and an escape route out of my block hole. 'If you can reach your elbows, you must reach for your elbows. If you can, YOU MUST!' Since I started doing Bikram a year ago, I am no where near reaching my elbows and my regular teachers know this. Its fairly obvious that when I can barely clasp my hands together I’m a long way off from reaching my elbows, but I could try so I did try. In that sweat filled, stretching moment of internal reflection in the hot room, in that fleeting moment of eye opening positivity I realized that if I can then I must, no matter what. Disregarding time, money and effort - if I can, I must and I will. Whatever the goal, I will try. If I can try, I must try.

This is my new vision statement for my life; I can, I must.

My new found vision for how to be happy and succeed led me down the path of completing long forgotten tasks that I pushed aside thinking that I couldn’t, I didn’t have time so I shouldn’t. I turned my couldn’t, didn’t, shouldn’t into I should, I could and I did.  Painting, framing and picture hanging. It was three years coming but even a new job and a new schedule couldn’t stop me.

As we head towards fall and my anniversary of blogging I invite everyone to hold me accountable to my new vision statement. If I can write, I must write. I’m giving myself a few passes when I really don’t have time to sit down and write but the 5-6 month hiatus is a thing of the past I promise myself that I will reflect more regularly with my eyes open and breathing normal again.

I can, I must.

Bert's Twin Sister

Bert's Sister.

As long as you're moving in A direction...

As COO of Job Searchers Leander...I have lost my regularity with my blog. I have tried to maintain a schedule with my yoga-ing and balance that out with my job searching, applications and yard work. Its amazing how sucky daytime television is. After the first week of funemployment I am no longer intrigued with sitting down and having a lazy afternoon with the tube. It sucks. I'd rather be weeding. THAT is definitely something I never thought I'd say. Me a gardener....HAH! But since my job loss I have mowed the front lawn twice...raked copious amounts of leaves...planted in my newest garden bed and mulched all beds in front of the house. Balanced out with yoga every other day or so and I've been putting some sweat equity into my home. Big props go out to anyone that does manual labor day in - day out to pay the bills. I'm a week and a half out from raking leaves and I still have blisters healing. As with most, being unemployed has its ups and downs. Some mornings I wake up and its a fantastic day to get "that" call back or email and other days I just don't give a damn. I was in Afton's class on Tuesday afternoon and she said something in the middle of the floor series that has stuck with me this week, "as long as you are moving in A direction." It was meant in regards to yoga and postures, bending forward and backward but in the moment she said it, I reflected on my current life status. Most days I feel like I'm moving forward and that my next adventure in work life will be fantastic and I will grow exponentially and other days I feel like 'life sucks, how did I get here?' but in that moment in Yoga I realized that regardless of how I felt from day to day, I am moving in A direction. As long as I am moving in A direction and not just standing still, I'm growing as a person. I might apply for my "dream job" and get a rejection letter automated to me in 11 minutes flat but I didn't do nothing and I'm better for that. Regardless of your current plight or success in life as long as you're moving in A direction you're living. Two steps forward or two steps back, dance your way in A direction and LIVE!

Eyes Open
Breathing Normal
Dancing my way in My direction.

Two weeks notice...

Well...

Life is definitely different now. Two weeks post job-loss I have come to terms with my current situation and am ready to proudly state in an online forum that I am in fact unemployed. Its pretty much a shock to anyone's system to change your routine so drastically after 4 plus years at the same company. I understand the reason's behind my layoff and I know that its not due to my own competence as an employee. It probably took the past two weeks to get over that fact. Layoffs happen and life goes on. So to all my friends and family. More importantly in the Austin, TX area I have a new job title now...job hunter. Actively looking for a marketing position and hopefully I will find the perfect job for me. I'm looking forward to new beginnings and moving on. Luckily my blog, my yoga practice and my new motto in life to always move forward with my eyes open and breathing normal is what has gotten me through this major life event unfazed and with a positive attitude and purpose. I love my family and with their support I can be successful and find my dream job and what I'm meant to do. One of my last posts before "job-loss" was about being introverted. I refuse to be anything but myself and find the exact right position for me to do next. I will continue my current venture of finding my dream job by following a new guideline (see Ted talk below): My happiness will lead to my success, not vice versa as is engrained in our society mindset.




Eyes Open. Breathing Normal.  Happiness brings Success.